There’s a hole in the North Pole.
The blame goes on those pesky elves,
who one day took upon themselves
the task to get old Santa Claus
a device that might help warm his drawers.
Now, I know they had the best intentions,
(For poor Santa gets chilblains where I won’t mention)
But the fact is, elves just aren’t that smart
They’re practically useless (except at art),
Which is they decided that to warm Santa’s bum
They’d better go buy him a laser gun.
So Santa’s arse got toasty alright –
but so did his workshop, which caught alight,
Then just as quickly the flames abated
As the workshop fell into a hole created
by Santa’s amazing new laser gun
(which is really becoming a pain in the bum)
On the bright side, at least he’s got warm drawers now,
And it only cost him his job and his house…
(Inspired by #microprompt ‘North’)