There’s a hole in the North Pole.

There’s a hole in the North Pole.

The blame goes on those pesky elves,
who one day took upon themselves
the task to get old Santa Claus
a device that might help warm his drawers.

Now, I know they had the best intentions,
(For poor Santa gets chilblains where I won’t mention)
But the fact is, elves just aren’t that smart
They’re practically useless (except at art),
Which is they decided that to warm Santa’s bum
They’d better go buy him a laser gun.

So Santa’s arse got toasty alright –
but so did his workshop, which caught alight,
Then just as quickly the flames abated
As the workshop fell into a hole created
by Santa’s amazing new laser gun
(which is really becoming a pain in the bum)
On the bright side, at least he’s got warm drawers now,
And it only cost him his job and his house…
(Inspired by #microprompt ‘North’)

Published by

Bunny Burns

I love words; both reading and writing them. I've started this site in order to have a depository for all the random ramblings which are continually swirling around my mind. Some of the aforementioned ramblings may be quite serious but the majority probably won't be. I'm a single mother living in Norwich. I'm also autistic. This isn't the defining component of my personality, although it is a significant one, and one which I think has a heavy influence on my writing, which is why I choose to highlight it. I also feel no shame over being autistic and refuse to perceive it as a disability. The way I see it, life is hard work whichever way your brain is wired up. Aside from all things wordy, I also love music. I find it to be an incredible mood enhancer, as well as a great enabler for the imagination. I love all kinds of music, though hard house in particular - as everything in life is better when it's hard... I hope you enjoy my musings and thank you for reading! I can also be found on